Q & A

Hello all.

Thanks all for the love and response on my last post. It has turned me into a Pastor as I have been praying for a miracle for the next person. Catch your Laptop by fire! Lolll

Now I need to drop these few lines as I will be missing in action as from Friday till Tuesday. I have a camp out to attend and I have been planning on how to have fun. The reason for this season is Jesus. Hope you are his pal?


One major reason why I like naija?
< < < < < Holidays!


This week alone FG has declared Wednesday plus the normal Easter Break (Friday and Monday). I am doing the running man dance (remember Vanilla ice….Ice Baby?) I love holidays- (lazy girl, Infact i am always looking forward to industrial strike!)

Now to the koko of today.

A very close friend shared this thought with me so I want to throw it open. Three of his subordinates resigned in the last two months and each of them took him out for lunch or dinner to appreciate him. I don’t work directly with him but I know him as a wonderful person. I have a female boss, and I think our relationship is that of Tom & Jerry…… (Ogiri leti.. wall has ears!) let me stop there. Lolll Now the question is:


-What is the relationship between you and your boss?
-Can you take your boss out in appreciation for what he/she impacted on you when you resign?

On a lighter mood

Latest blue-tooth in TOWN!




Send my Easter Eggs!

Love

SnOoPiNg

Yippeeeeee! I have delivered.

I promised to update on time and here I am.

Phew! If nobody praises me I will praise my self.

How are you are doing? I am good and God has been faithful to me. I have been very happy all week and the reason?.......... I got a brand new laptop, free of charge.


Whether you believe it or not, my pastor told me three weeks ago that his British boss gave him a laptop F.O.C. So I jokingly told him to shake my hand because I desire that type of favor.

Fast forward small, my old friend (we went to school together, worked together for a while before she moved on) called me that she was in my neighborhood and wanted to hang out with me. We met and we were trying to catch up when I just mentioned laptop casually, she said that she had a brand new one (her hubby sent to her) and I should come pick it up. This is a proper “ijebu” girl way back in school. Sha she gave me the lap top and I am still like, this girl will call me to come and pay because I know her but ALAS! She hasn’t called.

So join me to shout 35 big Hallelujahs! lol!

Ok today’s gist

I am sure you are wondering about the title of this post, my peeps that’s exactly what it means. Snooping. I don’t pry into people’s affair because I’ve always hated the issue of “he said ,I said and she said” but sometimes when you are jobless and u don’t have anything to do, your mind will start playing tricks on u.

When I was 8 years old, I had this kinda close friend. Lets call her R. R had an Uncle (Uncle L) who was very tall or rather I was very short, so I used to think he was tall. He had a way with women. One day R came to call me that she was hearing some strange noise from Uncle L’s room. I left my house in a hurry to investigate and we started peeping through the key hole.

I SAW somin infact PLENTY. lol

Sha R started nudging me to shift because we were taking turns to peep. I can’t remember what happened but I think Uncle R discovered the peeping toms and he came out and gave us the punishment of our lives. I couldn’t tell anyone in my house abi how will I explained the story? That wetin wetin happened? Abeg!

Second time I went snooping was a while ago too. It was with someone very close to me. Almost like a brother, I went thru his phone. Gosh, somin I don’t do normally. Sha I saw a text from a chic and it went thus……..

I don’t even know how I agreed to this in the first place but I feel so guilty even when I knew you were married, I was still involved with u. I am sorry I can’t go on with this again.


Whoosh! My world came tumbling down (and I am not his wife ) I was tempted to tell his wife but I knew I would be ruining a home. So I did what I felt was the best, I prayed…Mountain-of-fire type of prayer. Let the fire of God burn into ashes the “chaser” and the “chased”. Lawd have mercy!

Ok, the final snooping of the day was on my own mother. Lol

I lost my dad in 2001 and even as I am typing this I realize i still miss him so much ( I am sure that every last child will understand this ). Before I digress, My mum came around and she left her phone with me only for me to go through her phone (is that becoming a custom for me? Lol) and I found a love text!

Ori mi o! somin like I miss you so much say hi to every one and I love you. Could it be that Pop can send SMS from heaven? Lawlllll. I couldn’t hold it again, so I asked her and she told me that it was my cousin that normally use her phone. I believed her cos I know her phone font is quite small and she most certainly can’t read that text (but hey what if she used her glasses?)

But, my peeps if my mum start dating again (she is 63 years old now) I am not sure I will feel cool with it. And to think that daddy has gone for over 7 years and she will be lonely but she’s got to cope without him now abi?

Women are meant to be IMMORTAL and super – Humans. If I am in her shoes, won’t I date again?

I am outta here

Love

Boiz in da Hood

Eyin ara mi ninu Oluwa, Se y'all cool?

Hope you are not angry with moi? (*Kiss-kiss*)

Don’t mind me, I have been pretty lazy and the traffic in Lagos is getting crazier by the day. I don’t have a strong koko not to update sha, all my excuses are not tenable but pardon me.

Please, I need a scientist fast, is there any machine Oyinbo can design (or has deisgned) that can process thoughts? I need one to help me write out my post without moving my hands on the keyboard abeg.

Ok, I mentioned that one of my New Year resolutions was to have more fun and probably get hooked but it’s as if the latter is not going well with your gurl.


In the last 3 months or there about,I have met three guys all from different ethnic groups in Naija (only me you will say?) but I no too understand myself whether na my mouth don wide or they are just not normal. Please read on to understand me.


Sunday (Edo man)

Pros: TDH (Tall dark and handsome), engineer, comfortable, BUTTTTTTT

Cons: The boy likes to hear the sound of his own voice! O ti le soro juu. When he calls ehnn? He will talk,talk and talk and the sad part is that I don’t hear nada in all that he his saying. If he realizes that I have been quiet for a while,he will ask if I get him and trust me my ready made response is “yep, no wahala”. Can you imagine he called me for 45mins one day and all I got to answer back was a “yep no wahala” five times?

Turn off: He talks too much. He mentioned one day that on 31st of December he slept till 1st of January. On 31st December, even the devil himself go out to pray or somin but definitely not sleeping!


Edet (Calabar man)

Intro
My peep abeg please give a standing ovation for the Calabarians / Calabians. ( abi wetin I go call them again?) If you jam their women you are hooked for life.Their men nko? No dulling for them. Plenty raps and vibes all join. Lol. I heard they are very tidy and extremely trim.

Pros: Striking young man with a British accent, tall (I heard Calabarian are mostly not tall, is this true?), confident. The first day he saw me he got my phone number (to follow up on an issue) and the next thing was a text message from him “darkelcee, why are you so beautiful” Enough efizy!

Cons: This young man is too fast for me, he is on the fastest lane with a formula 1while I am just starting with my bettle. (lol). The first day he asked me out was to a Friday night gig and he was like I will sleep at his place till the next morning? E gbami (some pls save me)! Which type sleep be that ? Last month he recharged my phone only for him to come 3 days later and said I should quickly give him N1,000 to buy ice cream, i no see Calabar boy's brake light. Two weeks ago he came that he needed to use some amount of money and I also gave him (I no wan mention the amount before you will spark face for me). No story on the refund till now. I be world bank? Even the loans and grants World Bank give has offer conditions abi? The boy wan make me Sugar mummy? I have given him the boots I don’t like men that think they are smart. Do you know he flashes me(Crazy Flasher) and when I call him he is like why didn’t you pick up? I use Gongo aso by 9ice as my ring tone and his call has ended before the intro starts!

Turn Off: He is a leech! His types are just freeloaders.



Oladipupo(Yoruba Man)

Pros: Born Again, Medical Doctor, Handsome etc

Cons: short and too loud! I met him in one church activity like that and I was hearing his voice from the back! When he talks you will never imagine the sound is coming from his small frame. I doubt if he can whisper? I just can’t stand boisterous peeps. I secretly call him MTN (Every where you go)

Turn Off: He feels he is the only one that went to school. Because he did 10yrs (plus A.S.U strike) in school does not mean my 5 years is a waste or i am not as intelligent as he is. Always forming activity.


So that is it. I am done with them.
Planning on concentrating on me and have fun. I am pushing these guys out of my mind.Turning them to buddies until a prince in shinning armour comes! (king Arthur?)

We are having another team bonding session in my office this weekend and I plan to have a very pleasurable moments.

Ciao!


Abeg those are not their real names!

Happy Valentine

Okay first,Happy Birthday To Tayo.

Tayo, there will be parri right? My peeps ,visit his blog for the details.

I am organizing a parri here on my blog for you (But yours is still holding!)

This is not an update ( Before i will be lynched!)
This is just for you on Valentine's day. Hope you have love and experience love today and everyday of your life.

A Valentine is nothing like

A chocolate or a rose.

For in a week these shall be gone,

But Valentines remain.

If love were always sweet to tongue

Or fragrant to the nose,

Each day would be like Valentine's,

And we would go insane.

A Valentine just hangs around

Waiting to be kissed

Long after special days have passed

And every days are here.

So one is wise to choose one well

And chocolates to resist.

For in the midst of mania

It's nice to have one near.

I will update soon ok. I PROMISE.

Love You loads!

Elcee

PS...that poem is not original so dont hail me at all( lol)

Talking to HIM

Hey

what's been happening to you ?

The harmattan in Lagos ehn no easy at all. My peeps use to say that this type of weather kills elderly people fast. Even as young as i am i was almost swept away, Opelope annointing!(if not for anointing).

I got this in my mail box and i feel like sharing it with you.


This story was written by a doctor who worked in South Africa .

One night I had worked hard to help a mother in the labor ward; but in spite of all we could do, she died leaving us with a tiny premature baby and a crying two-year-old daughter. We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive, as we had no incubator (we had no electricity to run an incubator). We also had no special feeding facilities. Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with treacherous drafts. One student midwife went for the box we had for such babies and the cotton wool that the baby would be wrapped in. Another went to stoke the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came back shortly in distress to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst (rubber perishes easily in tropical climates). "And it is our last hot water bottle!" she exclaimed. As in the West, it is no good crying over spilled milk, so in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over burst water bottles. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways. "All right," I said, "put the baby as near the fire as you safely can, and sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from drafts. Your job is to keep the baby warm." The following afternoon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with any of the orp hanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby. I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle, and that the baby could so easily die if it got chills. I also told them of the two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died. During prayer time, one ten-year old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt consciousness of our African children. "Please, God" she prayed, "send us a water bottle. It'll be no good tomorrow, God, as the baby will be dead, so please send it this afternoon." While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added, "And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she'll know You really love her?"

As often with children's prayers, I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say, "Amen"? I just did not believe that God would do this. Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything, the Bible says so. But there are limits, aren't there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by sending me a parcel from my homeland. I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever received a parcel from home. Anyway, if anyone did send me a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator! Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door. By the time I reached home, the car had gone, but there, on the veranda, was a large twenty-two pound parcel. I felt tears pricking my eyes. I could not open the parcel alone, so I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly. Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box. >From the top, I lifted out brightly colored, knitted jerse ys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out Then there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children looked a little bored. Then came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas - that would make a batch of buns for the weekend. Then, as I put my hand in again, I felt the.....could it really be? I grasped it and pulled it out - yes, a brand-new, rubber hot water bottle. I cried. I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He would. Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, "If God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly too!" Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully dressed dolly. Her eyes shone! She had never doubted! Looking up at me, she asked: "Can I go over with you and give this dolly to that little girl, so she'll know that Jesus really loves her?" That parcel had been on the way for five whole months. Packed up by my former Sunday school class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God's prompting to send a hot water Bottle, even to the equator. And one of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child - five months before, in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it "that afternoon."

"Before they call, I will answer" (Isaiah 65:24) This awesome prayer takes less than a minute. When you receive this, say the prayer,... that's all you have to do. No strings attached. Just send it on to whomever you want - but do send it on. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards.

Let's continue praying for one another... Father, I ask you to bless my friends reading this right now. I am asking You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self doubting, release a renewed confidence to work through them. Where there is tiredness or exhaustion, I ask You to give them understanding, guidance, and strength as they learn submission to Your leading. Where there is spiritual stagnation, I ask You to renew them by revealing Your nearness, and by drawing them into greater intimacy with You. Where there is fear, reveal Your love, and release to them Your courage. Where there is a sin blocking them, reveal it, and break its hold over the lives of my friends. Bless their finances, give them greater vision, and raise up leaders and friends to support and encourage them. Give each of them discernment to recognize the evil forces around them, and reveal to them the power they have in You to defeat it. I ask you to do these things in Jesus' name.

. "Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps if you're not willing to move your feet."

Take that step today and talk to God about it.

"Before they call, I will answer" (Isaiah 65:24)

Love!

My Side- Burns

Hi

I go through different blogs daily and I always pray and wish I have the energy and zeal other bloggers have to update daily!

Muaahhhhhhhhhhh, you guys are wonderful.

Over the weekend, I decided to spot the infamous Sade Adu hairstyle. A few strands of your hair will be weaved at a time, remember? (Chics you know now and guys, ask your GF for a description ok?).

This particular hairstyle brought out my beauty and you need to see my “opon” (shinning/ reflective forehead) it is as clear as a mirror! I remember that “Opon” was a prefix attached to my name while in high school.

I had gone to retouch my hair and my “retouching- hairdresser” as usual commented on my side-burns. So this “weaving-hairdresser” too commented on my side burn while working on the hair (I have different hair dressers for different hair dos to keep my sanity in check and because most of them are suegbe/pako…… to borrow the Great Fela’s words.)

Their comments on my side burns took me down memory lane.

Ok background check, I went to a co-ed secondary school where we all must wear low cuts (not baby curls at all) both boys and girls, Baba God blessed your truly with this side burns that was almost meeting under my chin (for a woman when I no be winch?).

I never liked this extra hair growing on my face and my “family barber” made matter worse.

Small info our our barber….

His barbing salon is named “Orilowo Barbing Shop, No trouble”(someone should please help me translate that to English).

Mr No trouble is the owner, apprentice, manager, cleaner ( every name you can think of in a business enterprise) in that shop.

You need to see the chair we use while trying to get our hair “sliced” (definitely not cut). It is a nylon covered chair hinged on something that looks like a rim. You have to turn with the chair anytime there is a need to do so.


Mr trouble’s clippers nko? Na die. He cuts through your hair as if you are trimming a garden and it takes like 30mins to get your hair shaved.

My first time in Orilowo, no trouble’s shop, I had spoken with my dad about the need to get a hair cut.

Daddy yours truly: O ya enter car, let’s go.

Yours truly : very happy as I was planning to cut my hair to the latest “punk” hair style in town.

Daddy yours truly: I know a very good barber around now, ok?

Yours truly: ok

On getting to the “good barber’s shop” I noticed he was an elderly man with pot belly and immediately my instinct told me this was going to be my worst nightmare.

No trouble: “Weecome”, who wan to cut?

I stepped forward sheepishly and I was asked to climb the chair. He used one silly looking cloth like that to cover me up.

Your truly: Please just trim the hair as I don’t want to shave sir.

Mr No trouble: Okeee (with dirty teeth)

It is only in Mr No trouble’s shop that he cuts your hair without you looking at the mirror the chair is positioned in such a way that it backs the mirror. You only get to check out yourself when he is through with the damage!

My head was thoroughly abused and tortorued,.

When he was through, he bathed my head with Methylated Spirit and he now used this brush (exactly like a paint brush) to apply powder on my head and face and dust off the hair. That man should have been sued a long time ago

No trouble: Oya, Luk at your fain face in the glass.

when i managed to turn with the chair,I felt like dying, He shaved my head and left my side burns, just imagine! I was looking like a masquerade.


He now “carved” my hair from my face and I looked like a diagram. I burst into tear because I couldn’t imagine how I would carry that head to my school the following day.

I insisted that he gummed back my hair anyhow. But the deed was done and could not be repaired again.

I don’t know what my father saw in Mr no troubles but I ended up going there12 times a year for like 3 years. Getting my hair cut was a horror!

My brother and I later discovered that my dad normally signals Orilowo No trouble to shave our hairs as we always complain while attempting to comb it.

Mr orilowo just refused to open his shop one day and that was how he just disappeared into thin air and we never saw him afterwards.

The man made me hate my side burns so much till i started getting compliments.

ODE TO MY SIDE-BURNS

Oh my side-burns
You’ve stayed with me all these while
Through thick and thin
Through Orilowo No trouble Clippers
Through Harmattan and rainy season
Oh my side-burns.

Oh my side-burns
You stood the test of time
Through Hair relaxers to change your texture
Through silly attempt to make you join the rest of the pack (my hair)
Through those days I never liked you
Oh my side-burns

Oh my side-burns
You have made me proud
Heads turn to look at me
Because you are “strategically placed”
Hold you in high esteem

Because you have made me beautiful
Oh My side-burns!


Love!

In A Nutshell!

Happy New Year to y’all

Sorry I did not update on time.

I thought this time of the year will be pretty free for me but ALAS!, was wrong (lol). I mean January is a month where people would have emptied their accounts for the much awaited December vacation/Holiday and then arm folding will start, but my peeps are now super-sharp, come and see plenty people in the banking hall? O su mi men!

How was your Christmas and New Year holiday? I have gone round almost all the blogs my hands can click on and I discovered everyone had loads and loads of fun. Can you believe I did not have any?

Where do I start?

24th December…. Got a mail, I was nominated for a bloody reconciliation at my head office and that yours truly should prepare to sleep over. You will not believe I was in there till 30th! Every single night (6pm – 6am). I had free periods in the morning but I mean I was just busy sleeping. But mennnnn!, it is not easy working during the night at all.

31st December…………..went to church to pray about my life . I need to have an exciting one in 2008 (lol).

1st January………. Went to one of these eateries and it turned out to be a big mistake, I regretted going there self. ….., had to check out 3 places before I made up my mind on just staying in one as I didn’t want to go back home, each was filled to the brim and they all had a deejay blasting all sorts of music you can think of. All pretty too loud for a reasonable human being.

2nd January….resumed work and I have been busy since then lol!

So that was how I spent my last holiday ……………pretty boring se?

Well I have made up my mind to have a blast this year…..part of my New Year resolution, lol!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sat back and ran through my life in 2007, I thank God for life and sound health but I did not maximize the resources I had at my disposal. I need to work on so many things about myself.

Initially felt this might be too heavy for the first post in the year but hey what the heck!

Here is the issue, I don’t have close allies (male or female, none at all) I only have acquaintances/friends. Get me right, I am not egotistical or haughty but I just can’t make close friends or rather I can’t keep them (that sounds more like it).Yours truly cannot wake up and say I’m going to see a friend. My typical day…… I watch T.V all through, all sorts, from cartoons to comedy. It’s so bad that we had a team bonding session in my office and I was just yelling like a 3 year old girl (all because I have not had such fun in a very very long time). Please what is wrong with me? Lol!

You all know this song done by Celine Dion….when I fall in love it will be forever? This has never been my case. In 2007, I met someone and now He is gone! It is my entire fault. I think I “stepped” in love with a part of me outside of the relationship. I have never been raped or abused but I just can’t let go! Am I selfish?

I have never been inclined to have a sexual relationship with a female (abeg o, before you start thinking evil thoughts). I go into a relationship with a ‘win-win’ attitude so I ended up not giving my all to keep it. Am I normal? Yours truly cannot sing this verse like Celine, “When I give my heart, it will be completely!


I have been asking myself if I am selfish or something but the bottom line is I need help! My life is too monotonous.

Send in your advice fast because I desire to change for the better this 2008


Ops, I also procrastinate a lot. How do I stop that too? Lol!


Hugs and kisses