Boiz in da Hood

Eyin ara mi ninu Oluwa, Se y'all cool?

Hope you are not angry with moi? (*Kiss-kiss*)

Don’t mind me, I have been pretty lazy and the traffic in Lagos is getting crazier by the day. I don’t have a strong koko not to update sha, all my excuses are not tenable but pardon me.

Please, I need a scientist fast, is there any machine Oyinbo can design (or has deisgned) that can process thoughts? I need one to help me write out my post without moving my hands on the keyboard abeg.

Ok, I mentioned that one of my New Year resolutions was to have more fun and probably get hooked but it’s as if the latter is not going well with your gurl.


In the last 3 months or there about,I have met three guys all from different ethnic groups in Naija (only me you will say?) but I no too understand myself whether na my mouth don wide or they are just not normal. Please read on to understand me.


Sunday (Edo man)

Pros: TDH (Tall dark and handsome), engineer, comfortable, BUTTTTTTT

Cons: The boy likes to hear the sound of his own voice! O ti le soro juu. When he calls ehnn? He will talk,talk and talk and the sad part is that I don’t hear nada in all that he his saying. If he realizes that I have been quiet for a while,he will ask if I get him and trust me my ready made response is “yep, no wahala”. Can you imagine he called me for 45mins one day and all I got to answer back was a “yep no wahala” five times?

Turn off: He talks too much. He mentioned one day that on 31st of December he slept till 1st of January. On 31st December, even the devil himself go out to pray or somin but definitely not sleeping!


Edet (Calabar man)

Intro
My peep abeg please give a standing ovation for the Calabarians / Calabians. ( abi wetin I go call them again?) If you jam their women you are hooked for life.Their men nko? No dulling for them. Plenty raps and vibes all join. Lol. I heard they are very tidy and extremely trim.

Pros: Striking young man with a British accent, tall (I heard Calabarian are mostly not tall, is this true?), confident. The first day he saw me he got my phone number (to follow up on an issue) and the next thing was a text message from him “darkelcee, why are you so beautiful” Enough efizy!

Cons: This young man is too fast for me, he is on the fastest lane with a formula 1while I am just starting with my bettle. (lol). The first day he asked me out was to a Friday night gig and he was like I will sleep at his place till the next morning? E gbami (some pls save me)! Which type sleep be that ? Last month he recharged my phone only for him to come 3 days later and said I should quickly give him N1,000 to buy ice cream, i no see Calabar boy's brake light. Two weeks ago he came that he needed to use some amount of money and I also gave him (I no wan mention the amount before you will spark face for me). No story on the refund till now. I be world bank? Even the loans and grants World Bank give has offer conditions abi? The boy wan make me Sugar mummy? I have given him the boots I don’t like men that think they are smart. Do you know he flashes me(Crazy Flasher) and when I call him he is like why didn’t you pick up? I use Gongo aso by 9ice as my ring tone and his call has ended before the intro starts!

Turn Off: He is a leech! His types are just freeloaders.



Oladipupo(Yoruba Man)

Pros: Born Again, Medical Doctor, Handsome etc

Cons: short and too loud! I met him in one church activity like that and I was hearing his voice from the back! When he talks you will never imagine the sound is coming from his small frame. I doubt if he can whisper? I just can’t stand boisterous peeps. I secretly call him MTN (Every where you go)

Turn Off: He feels he is the only one that went to school. Because he did 10yrs (plus A.S.U strike) in school does not mean my 5 years is a waste or i am not as intelligent as he is. Always forming activity.


So that is it. I am done with them.
Planning on concentrating on me and have fun. I am pushing these guys out of my mind.Turning them to buddies until a prince in shinning armour comes! (king Arthur?)

We are having another team bonding session in my office this weekend and I plan to have a very pleasurable moments.

Ciao!


Abeg those are not their real names!