Thursday, April 23, 2009

HaVe A gOoD LaUgH

Hey blogville,

I Thank God for another opportunity for Mrs. Dark-elooo ( yeah that is my new to put up a post. Many wish to do so but for a reason or the other they can't. hahahahahehehehe.

Thanks for the comments... like they say in yoruba "Ire Akari"

Ok i got this in my mail box today and i felt let me share with my peeps. hope you will have a good and healthy laugh like i did.

My people,
I am getting fatter oh. How many weeks into the marriage? ("it is not what you are thinking".)

All my clothes now look like "borrowed" pieces. If you see any dark round thing rolling like drum around Lagos island, then it is moi.

I am serious about this matter oh. What can i do? pleaseeeeeeeeeee don't suggest exercise cos of my work hours. I need help.


Loads of Love

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

So far

Hey my people,

To God be the glory great things he Has done .

Ok sorry i am feeling lazy but i must put the devil to shame today and update something. please bear with me if my post aint coherent.

- yes i got married, march 14th at my villa.
- left lagos on 12th with me carrying one of my cakes on my lap for the 45mins drive to villa cos the car was filled with all wedding stuff dont know if the cake shop put stones in the cakes cos they were heavy and big.
- Got to villa and we drove straight to church as we had rehersal and i was mandated to do pregnancy test before Church can agree to marry us.
- During rehersal, the pastor coordinating was reciting the marital vows and instead of calling our names or allowing us to use our names he named me "Sister B" and hubby "Brother A". i couldnt help laughing all through cos it sounded silly. The poor man now explained that some couples have actually slept with each other immediately after rehersal cos they claimed they have been joined together as husband and wife ( is that possible? person wey wan do go do..... no holds barred)
- Went for pg test after rehersal, they insisted on taking blood for pg! (somebody help me) maybe because they want to catch me if i am 1 hour
- Hubby said if the test is positive that he will not be like Joseph ( Jesus' earthly dad) who agreed to Holy Spirit's message about the conception of Jesus without questions. that he will listen to Holy Spirit or my story.
- Test went well and negative. went home to see my mum and family. the number of people i knelt down to greet during those 2 1/2 days were more than i have done in my 3 decades on earth.
- Insisted that i wont sleep at home cos i am kinda "people shy", mummy darkelcee preached, begged and forced but i insisted and even convinced my senior ones in joining me to sleep in an hotel

Friday ( Traditional Wedding)
- Woke up and went to fix my hair
- Went back home looking like toast bread.
- Started another round of kneeling down to greet people that i dont even know. all becos mumsy said , uncle mi, cousin me, aunty mi etc)
- Engagement ceremony started a bit late but hubby and i were gisting and giggling away.
- He later told me he did his own round of postrating and all too.
- I came out with 3 friends and plenty family members.
-When i went to hug my mum she started crying oh. Imagine Does Margaret Thatcher cry?lol. tears came to my eye but i remembered my make up and "bone up". wetin! Why do parents cry on their children's wedding day self? maybe mine was because Pop died a while back.
- Hubby and i was asked to kiss publicly to show our love for each other( u need to see how i positioned my mouth.i am never a slacker!lol)
- Finished engagement party sha

Went back to the hotel and around 9pm remembered i left my WEDDING BOUQUET in lagos. Blogville..... no be small thing oh as house key dey my purse for villa. so i called a friend up and i got the razziest looking thing around 10.15am when church service started 10am prompt. I held the "grass" into the church and i never touched it till today, dont even know who picked it.I didntt even take pictures with it. ( made up my mind to wear my wedding gown and take a picture with the original fine bouquet)
- Hubby was just checking me out cos i looked beaurrriiiifulllll and i knew it too
- Wedding dress was super fit. Hid my big stomach and exergerated my curves. whoever made that gown will def make heaven declares Darkelce! lol
- Church finished and round of Picture and camera snapping commenced
- ops almost forgot, i didnt want to use any child for my train but i was "adviced" to use only two. so i picked my niece as the lil bride ( abi wetin dem dey call them) and ring bearer- hubby's nephew. People,ring bearer did not go in with the train oh, na so so cry im dey cry. I was speechless 5 year old crying like that? As i didnt want the boy to remove my smile i gently and nicely told the parent to take him away.if it was darkelcee in the 50s........ ( shakes head and legs)

- Reception went well, mumsy been an ijebu party loving fella prepared for 700 guest and we had like 500 sha so everything was in excess. (Thank God)
- I dont know how to dance but i still tried to dance but people were just saying all sort; elcee dance now, kilo de , u dey shy ?
- Hubby was busy inventing all manner of dance steps that wont be discovered till 2060.

- My niece put up a show at the wedding, been planning everything with my 4 year old niece. she was kinda my best We were together. It took a plate of Jollof rice to keep her away from Hubby and I at the Reception. When it was time for me to leave, she ran inside the car and called her mum to send her clothes! e gba mi , where she dey go?? she was forcefully carried out and she started screaming " aunty elcee knows we are doing wedding together" kai , tears threatened to fall from my eye cos i knew i would miss her.
- Wont tell you the details of after reception but i am sure you all have an idea.
- Went to Ghana for part 2 of the honey moon. heyyyyy Ghana is hot! haaaa , Blogville family; none of us will go to hell fire oh. Ghana is hot. if i stayed there for 1 month you guys wont recognise me again.
- Ghana was fun but its gist for another day.

long post oh

i am out of here.

Update in two weeks. I promise

thanks for all the comments, I appreciate it.

I am yet to learn how to pound. Bought Ola Ola for hubby. you guys needed to be there to see his expression.BAADDD, BIASED etc. but he ate with love and i know that wont be for long.

So pray for me to see someone to teach me and also for the grace to learn. Need a miracle for this Plastic Hands of mine to recieve bones in them so as to be able to pound