Tuesday, April 29, 2008


I was tagged by Jinta…ahhh .

The rules:

1. Link the person who tagged you to this post-check!

2. Mention the rules in your blog –check!

3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours –check!

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them –check!

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged –check!

This meme is about any particular mannerism you have, ok?

Book of Revelations written by DARKELCEE

1) I love cartoons to bits. I don’t know why but I can’t seem to stop.

2) I don’t listen to news. I don’t read it either. I felt that my dad hated me whenever he insisted that I swap SUPERted or voltron force for the 4.00pm news then. I have never picked up the remote control to tune to any news channel in my entire life(except its under compulsion). Had an elderly customer who noticed that I don’t know anything happening around me. He took it upon himself to be “supplying” me with news papers. The man got tired and left me alone after he noticed I was just not IT.

3) I hate water! Ok I have heard so many reasons why I have to drink water but I still don’t like drinking it. ( just remembered I haven't taken any water today and it is 18.02hrs! )

4) I eat rice 24/7. Not rice based meals but pure undiluted rice. White rice and stew, jollof rice, fried rice. I don’t feel good if I miss eating rice in a day!

5) When I defecate, it’s usually with no clothes on. And I always go with a book to read so on the average I spend like 30mins doing the DO. So when next you want to you the toilet and someone is there for like 30mins, then you know its ME.

6) What I think in my heart is always different from my actions. Invariably I cannot coordinate my thoughts and actions

Phewwwww, it's six already Men!

I tag
30+, Sasuke, Rinsola, Vera, Jaycee, Carlang

Tuesday, April 22, 2008



Thank God for keeping us alive because without him we wouldn’t be where we are today.
Join me to sing this song to our Maker, Redeemer and Friend

You are Alpha and Omega
We worship you our God
You are worthy to be praised

We give you all that glory
We worship you our God
You are worthy to be praised

Ok I am praising God because in everything you must thank God but I am not happy at all.

I had always been an advocate of NOKIA handsets and I’ve never used any other phone type since GSM became a reality in naija.

From 3310 to N80 I have used them all.

- one got stolen at an Owanbe parri
- Gave one out.
- Sold out a couple of them (at a cheaper bargain of course.)

I’m digressing jare, when I bought this bloody nokia N80 in last year,( May precisely) I thought I had purchased the best bargain of a century.
I was planning to rock the phone for a while then sell off and get another cute phone.

Why I went for N80:
-Internet edition (I thought I could browse even inside water)
- It's a slide phone
- Has a large screen
- Large memory size (phone and card)

With all the other features them talk say follow the phone come from heaven (or from where?).

The phone’s problem started when I took it home the very first day I got it. My niece just couldn’t get her hands of the earpiece! She was always fondling it until one day she ate up the foamy cover (don’t know what it’s called please...lollll) of the earpiece.

So I discarded the earpiece and kept on rocking the phone.

My sweet phone became the latest toy in my house! My nephew uses it to perfect his skills on phone game handling (from why chicken crossed the road to snakes) while my niece was trying hard to be beyonce with the voice recorder; she also snaps her pictures every time. (Still have a picture of Richard in BBA 2 on my phone because she took a picture of herself backing the teevee!)

All this time the phone kept on falling at will and I never raised any objection because I thought it’s still the same old NOKIA I knew.(durability and value for your money! )
The phone fell off my hands a couple of times too Ok.

The problem started early this month, I noticed that when I get incoming calls I don’t hear the caller but when I make calls, it’s loud and clear. Later it graduated to both incoming and outgoing calls; yours truly will not hear anything except I use the loudspeakers.

I complained to one of my colleagues and he took my phone to a technician that could work on it. “Doctor” diagnosed my baby with “bad-flex” (whatever that means) and that it must be replaced.

"Ok.How much is flex now?"

The guy said N7, 000. (Please how much is a new phone abeg? lollll)

I left him in annoyance only to get to work and discover another major problem…. When I slid it opened or closed, it displayed different colours which were not a screen saver. Those rainbow displays only meant one thing - the screen too is getting spoilt!

So now my phone has different color spectrum when opened or closed and only regains “composure” after like 30seconds and remember that I still have to switch to loudspeakers to hear my conversation after all these home muveee.

I got pissed and I bought my self this new NOKIA (again u will say? Lolllll)

Why I picked this:
- No Game (and I aint planning to download any!)
- The phone is just a plain Jane!
- No secondary camera for my niece
- Metal casing(anti-scratch)
Even told my niece that it had no voice recorder (a big lie)

So here is a toast to my new phone; baby we are going to rock ourselves till grey days!

And i wish my dying N80 a wonderful REST IN PEACE! (it was nice while knowing you)

Like Alicia Keys sang I keep on falling in love with NOKIA (you)….loollllll.

Enjoy your week!

Friday, April 11, 2008

In my head

My peeps
This is to confirm that I keep my promise. Wassssuuuuppppp?

I want to give a shout out to everyone that left a comment on my post. You are the reason I am on blogville. I love you all and I will reply every comment soon.(I am feeling like a Gee se?). I am being lazy and the only time I have to reply all comment is in the nite (at home) and this feat is like trying to go to heaven…….dial-up connection in naija is anti-reply-a-comment. (Am I the only one in this? Both CELTEL & STARCOMMS)

As this post title signifies, these are just thoughts running through my head in the last one week so help examine my head.

I didn’t take Coca Cola on a particular Friday and by Saturday afternoon I felt like an addict suffering a relapse. Abeg Coca cola wan kill me? Had to run all over to get a chilled bottle and I felt better.Haaaa my own don better abi? Carl don get sister for Coke drinking spree.

My peeps at home tried to persuade me to go out with them and the following conversation ensued;

Bro-in-law: Darkelcee, lets go out now because you can’t find husband with this your lifestyle. Your life revolves round Home, Office and Church. You need to go out often to hook up someone? (Please where exactly is this OUT?)

My 6yr Old Nephew: yesssssss now, she has been staying with us since. Mummy says before I was born? When will you go to your house?

See me see wahala, dem dey plan coup-de-tat for me in that house now.

Please, how do oyinbo people think? I noticed that you can actually report a photo on facebook to the authorities! Reasons to report photo Include….nudity/pornography, Drug Use, violence, attacks individual or group. Please the question is wetin concern me to report another person’s picture?(Na jazz dem use carry me go look im profile?) I fit report my own? Who dey check the reports?
If we get our own facebook for naija, hmmmm gongo aso!. The guy in the console to monitor reports will never be at work.Infact, PHCN no go give them light to access reports at all. Fuel scarcity will back up PHCN strongly. And the site will be epileptic that you won’t be able to report anything! All hail NIGERIA!
In the March Edition of Genevieve magazine, i read of a 23yr old naija chic who did breast enlargement / implant for a bloody sum of 4,000 British Pounds! (I dey craze?) I can’t even imagine getting one abi na buy we go call am? (Don’t need to anyway *wink*).

Please, take time out to watch Dr 92010 for a sneak into the getting one. The surgery can be compared with the process of making Asun (barbecued goat).

Heard you can use saline or silicone gel in the stuffing or filling? lollllll

Type 1
A portion of the boobs is opened up and somin that looks like Drip bag (Dextrose Saline) or Pure water bag is “tucked” into the breast and a balloon pump is inserted into the bag and then the pumping start. Air or whatever is pumped into the bag till the desired size is achieved. The “victim” is sown up and she wakes up with a bigger boobs.

Type 2
The “drip-bag” is already filled with the saline/silicone gel they forcefully tucked into the boobs. Pumping is not necessary.

Now the question is can this bag leak? Yes it can!

What if somin happens and it burst? Oh yes it does! You will only need to go for a “refill”.

Or the saline solution start to dry? Abeg, allow me to think like a novice here!

All these James bond moves is for what?

Note that this is not a bloodless surgery. !@#$%^&*_+

The recovery period varies from person to person. After the surgery, the doctor is going to put bandages around the breasts to prevent swelling. The bandages are worn for several days. After they are removed, you will need to use a surgical bra. This bra is designed to prevent excessive pressure and give enough support to your new breasts.For the first few days, the patient experiences pain and swelling.(suffering and smilling!)

The doctor will give you medication for pain.(please doctors should stop giving anything, sebi it is no pains no gain...Chikena!) The discomfort will gradually reduce within 10 days. Some swelling will still remain. The scars will look pink and larger in the beginning, but they will fade as time passes. It may take a couple of months to get back to your fitness routine, but depending on your type of work, within a few days you can return to work. Every case is different, so your doctor will tell you what is right for you……READ MORE

But really how many minutes do we have in naija before we start doing Whacko Jackco moves and our teeth, nose or tongue start falling off?

On a lighter mood!


Enjoy your weekend

Monday, April 07, 2008

Twenty five things

Where do I start from? I give God all the glory. How was your Easter Break? I bet everyone had the holiday all over the GLOBE? Abi now? I am good but very very tired from my Camp-Out programme. I wonder how parents with 10 children cope especially the mum. Ko easy men.

This is not an update. I'm serious and i promise to update before friday.Infact to be specific 11th April in the year of our Lord 2008!

Just wanted to share this withall the sisters in blogville.

Sista, i need you to raise your two fingers in the air and say oh oh .....then screammmmmmmmmmmm (please what am i feeling like?)

Now to the gist

Twenty five things a sista should not apologize for ............................

1. Never apologize for pursuing what makes you happy. Even if
you need to quit your job, transfer schools, or move across
always do what you really want.

2. Never apologize for using proper English. Keeping it real
doesn't mean speaking Ebonics.

3. Never apologize for giving your best in a relationship that
just didn't work out.

4. Never apologize for being successful. Only haters want to
keep you at their level.

5. Never apologize for crying. Wear waterproof mascara and
express yourself.

6. Never apologize for ten pounds you need to lose. People who
truly care about you will accept you as you are.

7. Never apologize for being frugal. Just because you save your
money instead of blowing it on the latest fashion emergency
doesn't mean you're cheap.

8. Don't apologize for being a single Mom. Babies are a

9. Never apologize for treating yourself to something special.
Sometimes you have to show yourself some appreciation. Amen to

10. Never apologize for leaving an abusive relationship. Your
safety should always be a priority. Soooooooo True

11. Never apologize for keeping the ring even if you did not
get married.

12. Never apologize for setting high standards in a
relationship. You know what you can tolerate and what simply
gets on your nerves.

13. Never apologize for saying NO.

14. Never apologize for asking for what you want in bed. If you
don't, then who will?

15. Never apologize for wearing a weave or braids. You bought
it so it's yours.

16. Never apologize to your new friends about old friends.
There's a reason she's been your girl from day one.

17. Never apologize for ordering dessert or more than one

18. Never apologize for dating outside your race. Just because
you found Mr. Right across the color line doesn't mean you
don't love your brothas.

19. Never apologize for demanding respect. You are to always
be treated as a queen.

20. Never apologize for not knowing how to cook. Even if you
can't burn like Grandma you know how to order good take out.
(Right Girl!)

21. Never apologize for your taste in clothes. It's your style.

22. Never apologize for changing your mind, it is your

23. Never apologize for making a decision from your heart, even
if others don't agree. You have to live with the consequences
not them.

24. Never apologize for making more money than your man, you
work hard and you deserve to get paid.

25. Never apologize for being YOU!

Keep your head UP and keep moving"


Buki, He's got your back gurl.