When will i grow up?

To God be the glory for another bright and extremely sunny day. how have you guys been?

I have come again oh with my high level of foolishness.

Sit back and have a good laugh

Before i got married, i had this vision of 'enjoying' my marriage before kids start coming in. I had the mind of waiting till after one year before i start thinking of kids. Your sister got married and was constantly going to Jerusalem ( no allow me spell am out now, please decode) without using any protection. People please ask me what was i thinking?

It never crossed my mind that i would "catch" belle but blogville i don catch oh......big time.
Remembered my last post that i complained of getting fatter? apparently na lil elcees dey grow inside me.

kai women dey suffer............... the thing my eye don see in the last 2 months? abeg make i no scare the upcoming mummies in the house. Maybe i can submit my story to Bambina self?

It all started with lil headaches and tiredness it now aggravated to vomiting everything and nothing. My body temparature can boil water. i have already taken 3 days off work and i know i still have plenty months to go! I went to the hospital hoping there could be something to remove the "omolaria" that is worrying me but the doctor looked at me and said it will pass that i should manage. heheheeheheh*wailing* manage till when?

I really pitied hubby cos the dude now knows how to eat noodles well well when his wife can't cook anything. We had earlier agreed on no househelps till we start having kids but i think he is almost changing his mind now cos of the food part ( he is so hardworking that he cant cook nada)

The only food i dont throw up is Amala! Imagine? eating amala in the office when everyone is forming with correct meal. My office assistant is an angel from God, the guy comes exactly 1pm daily to ask me for money to help buy the food( i cant eat the food i manage to cook at home) . I never knew you could get good amala joint in Victoria Island but somehow the guy comes back with my bowl of steaming hot amala and ewedu. God bless his soul

My Summation .................................................KO EASY AT ALL.

We have rested the case of pounded yam for now until i get my groove back.

please peeps that have 4 kids how did they manage it? ( SSD how you take manage?)Cos i dont know if i can go again oh. So please help me pray for Twins. Miracle can still happen....... my hubby is a twin and his mum had two sets so please let it be replicated in our family

Dark-elooooo wants TWINS by fire

Will def keep you posted. let me go resume my prayers for twins.

Love you so much.

HaVe A gOoD LaUgH

Hey blogville,

I Thank God for another opportunity for Mrs. Dark-elooo ( yeah that is my new name...lol) to put up a post. Many wish to do so but for a reason or the other they can't. hahahahahehehehe.

Thanks for the comments... like they say in yoruba "Ire Akari"

Ok i got this in my mail box today and i felt let me share with my peeps. hope you will have a good and healthy laugh like i did.



My people,
I am getting fatter oh. How many weeks into the marriage? ("it is not what you are thinking".)

All my clothes now look like "borrowed" pieces. If you see any dark round thing rolling like drum around Lagos island, then it is moi.

I am serious about this matter oh. What can i do? pleaseeeeeeeeeee don't suggest exercise cos of my work hours. I need help.

muaaaaahhhhh

Loads of Love

So far

Hey my people,

To God be the glory great things he Has done .

Ok sorry i am feeling lazy but i must put the devil to shame today and update something. please bear with me if my post aint coherent.


- yes i got married, march 14th at my villa.
- left lagos on 12th with me carrying one of my cakes on my lap for the 45mins drive to villa cos the car was filled with all wedding stuff dont know if the cake shop put stones in the cakes cos they were heavy and big.
- Got to villa and we drove straight to church as we had rehersal and i was mandated to do pregnancy test before Church can agree to marry us.
- During rehersal, the pastor coordinating was reciting the marital vows and instead of calling our names or allowing us to use our names he named me "Sister B" and hubby "Brother A". i couldnt help laughing all through cos it sounded silly. The poor man now explained that some couples have actually slept with each other immediately after rehersal cos they claimed they have been joined together as husband and wife ( is that possible? person wey wan do go do..... no holds barred)
- Went for pg test after rehersal, they insisted on taking blood for pg! (somebody help me) maybe because they want to catch me if i am 1 hour preggers.lol
- Hubby said if the test is positive that he will not be like Joseph ( Jesus' earthly dad) who agreed to Holy Spirit's message about the conception of Jesus without questions. that he will listen to Holy Spirit or my story.
- Test went well and negative. went home to see my mum and family. the number of people i knelt down to greet during those 2 1/2 days were more than i have done in my 3 decades on earth.
- Insisted that i wont sleep at home cos i am kinda "people shy", mummy darkelcee preached, begged and forced but i insisted and even convinced my senior ones in joining me to sleep in an hotel

Friday ( Traditional Wedding)
- Woke up and went to fix my hair
- Went back home looking like toast bread.
- Started another round of kneeling down to greet people that i dont even know. all becos mumsy said , uncle mi, cousin me, aunty mi etc)
- Engagement ceremony started a bit late but hubby and i were gisting and giggling away.
- He later told me he did his own round of postrating and all too.
- I came out with 3 friends and plenty family members.
-When i went to hug my mum she started crying oh. Imagine Does Margaret Thatcher cry?lol. tears came to my eye but i remembered my make up and "bone up". wetin! Why do parents cry on their children's wedding day self? maybe mine was because Pop died a while back.
- Hubby and i was asked to kiss publicly to show our love for each other( u need to see how i positioned my mouth.i am never a slacker!lol)
- Finished engagement party sha

Went back to the hotel and around 9pm remembered i left my WEDDING BOUQUET in lagos. Blogville..... no be small thing oh as house key dey my purse for villa. so i called a friend up and i got the razziest looking thing around 10.15am when church service started 10am prompt. I held the "grass" into the church and i never touched it till today, dont even know who picked it.I didntt even take pictures with it. ( made up my mind to wear my wedding gown and take a picture with the original fine bouquet)
- Hubby was just checking me out cos i looked beaurrriiiifulllll and i knew it too
- Wedding dress was super fit. Hid my big stomach and exergerated my curves. whoever made that gown will def make heaven declares Darkelce! lol
- Church finished and round of Picture and camera snapping commenced
- ops almost forgot, i didnt want to use any child for my train but i was "adviced" to use only two. so i picked my niece as the lil bride ( abi wetin dem dey call them) and ring bearer- hubby's nephew. People,ring bearer did not go in with the train oh, na so so cry im dey cry. I was speechless 5 year old crying like that? As i didnt want the boy to remove my smile i gently and nicely told the parent to take him away.if it was darkelcee in the 50s........ ( shakes head and legs)

- Reception went well, mumsy been an ijebu party loving fella prepared for 700 guest and we had like 500 sha so everything was in excess. (Thank God)
- I dont know how to dance but i still tried to dance but people were just saying all sort; elcee dance now, kilo de , u dey shy ?
- Hubby was busy inventing all manner of dance steps that wont be discovered till 2060.

- My niece put up a show at the wedding, been planning everything with my 4 year old niece. she was kinda my best friend.lol. We were together. It took a plate of Jollof rice to keep her away from Hubby and I at the Reception. When it was time for me to leave, she ran inside the car and called her mum to send her clothes! e gba mi , where she dey go?? she was forcefully carried out and she started screaming " aunty elcee knows we are doing wedding together" kai , tears threatened to fall from my eye cos i knew i would miss her.
- Wont tell you the details of after reception but i am sure you all have an idea.
- Went to Ghana for part 2 of the honey moon. heyyyyy Ghana is hot! haaaa , Blogville family; none of us will go to hell fire oh. Ghana is hot. if i stayed there for 1 month you guys wont recognise me again.
- Ghana was fun but its gist for another day.

long post oh

i am out of here.

Update in two weeks. I promise

thanks for all the comments, I appreciate it.

PS
I am yet to learn how to pound. Bought Ola Ola for hubby. you guys needed to be there to see his expression.BAADDD, BIASED etc. but he ate with love and i know that wont be for long.

So pray for me to see someone to teach me and also for the grace to learn. Need a miracle for this Plastic Hands of mine to recieve bones in them so as to be able to pound

Muuuaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

1ST POST IN 2009.

hey peeps, how are you all doing?

Happy new year, even if it is coming in February abeg accept am like that. kiss kiss

My New Year motto has been this song done by David Cook (American Idol 7)

And I’ll taste every moment And live it out loud

I know this is the time, This is the time

To be more than a name Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life Time of my life


We thank the Almighty father, the joy & strength Giver for HIS Grace over our lives.

He has counted us to be among the living. So I give him praise.

How are you all doing? Please drive safely and if that trip is not important, cancel it sharppish.

Just thought about sharing with you guys the things I never had and the things I have not done in all my years on earth. Relax with your bowl of groundnut plus fanta, enjoy.

- I never got a Christmas dress.... I don't know which planet my parents were from but I guess it must be Uranus because Christmas dress is not in their dictionary. While our neighbors wore their dresses around we just wear the old "fine" dress we had and I was down with it then and even till now I still don’t get or buy a Christmas dress.

-Still talking of Christmas, I never spent Christmas outside my home..............( I am not an ibo person sha.lol) except 2007 year, I didn’t go because I knew my mum will hound me on husband and marriage issue. So I decided to chill in Lagos. This year, I went home confidently (*wink*)

-I never had a younger one (i am a confirmed and certified last born)...... Sometimes I am happy about that but at times I wish I have just one. Someone to gist with you know and I want to pull my weight around and boss someone. Mumsy is old and my dad is late so there is no question of I might get one soon.
-I never had a pet........ All the dogs we had in my family while growing up were owned by my brothers.

-I have never used tampons before...... eeeeeewwwww! How will I insert it? Somebody please help this razzooo.


-I have never had friends exactly my age mate...... they are either older than me or younger than me. wetin dey happen? Is it that I sometimes act above or below my age? lol

-I have never done beyond 10mins in the bathroom. My motto…. Even Naman the leper didn’t spend so much time washing up his leprosy so why should I? The 10mins is enough to scrub off yesterday’s dirts now abi? And my body width and length ain’t that big too. Bathroom activity is strictly brushing and proper shower.

-I never went to a boarding school… Thank God my parents didn’t risk it, because if they had I might not be on talking terms with them now. Was doing Monday to Friday while I was in Polytechnic and I went from home while in University.

-I never had an Uncle….My Maternal Grandma had all girls and My Paternal Grandma had only a son (my Dad). So if you hear me mention an uncle, na lie oh prolly an Aristo. Lol.
-I have never fought before. I mean physical combat thingy. Did one with my brother and it was the first and last time I did.

Biko my people, I have a kolo boss with plenty scion-scoin. I need your prayers and help on how to deal with him. Example; he asked me to schedule a meeting for him ( I no be secretary oh) I sent the mail and called up the parties involved and behold Mr. scion scion come waka comot! I had to face those people myself, speak plenty English to beg and explain that a car killed his great-great grand parents and he had to leave the office. Advice me please


Finally my people……………………………………………….I am getting married!( gist for another post, i promise to give you the low down) But dilemma dey small. Hubby is from Ekiti State where they eat pounded yam as their Three Square meal. I don’t know how to pound nada and he said Ola- Ola is out of it, so I am looking for how to introduce him to this! (Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)


Missed you guys plenty!