My Series of Firsts!

What’s good ? cool I guess.

Today is for first time of almost everything in my life. Guess the list is inexhuastive as I am still breathing and there will definitely be more of that as I tread along planet earth (or Pluto...laughs!)

Ok quick background check of my self. I grew up very fast, I mean by age 9 I had almost all the features of being a young woman and was almost an adolescent. I was bigger than my brother, who was 2 years older than I and growing up was pretty fast for yours truly.

The first time I wore a bra , I was 8 yrs 5 months (pretty fast se, I was in primary school?) and they weren’t the size of lime fruit ooo, my boobs were big . You remember those days that girlsjust wear their school uniforms over their panties and or the big girls wears ‘vest’ or ‘singlets’ (or shimi).Yours truly was already a proud owner of strapless bras(they were not padded ones….lol). The funny thing was that I couldn’t even remember the make of those bras guess because I was very young.
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The first time I saw grandmother red………. I was 9 years old . You see I am the last born of my family and I was a sort of tomboy. All my friends were guys and I climb trees a lot. It was during the holidays and I was on the tree as usual with my buddies when I felt wetness in my pants. I went to check it out and when I saw blood I called my buddies for an inspection and diagnosis. They all ran away thinking I had wounded my self during the tree climbing process. I cried home and met my brother(boys they say will always be boys) who organized a sanitary towel for me and I went back to my buddies with the full gist of what happened and everyone of us checked my panties every 30minutes for new stuff(crazy se?lawl!!!!!!!!!!!!). My mum was in the UK then and when she was told that her baby had started seeing her monthly stuff she called me for a training session on the phone……don’t touch boys, cut off the relationship with all your buddies blah blah blah. Trust yours truly now, I relayed every message to my peeps and concluded it with if any of them smile at me na belle ooo….lol.The funny part was that i never knew how to monitor my cycle all because I was very young. Was later taken to the hospital cos my parents were not comfortable with the age thing and the doctor said I will start my menopause early ( so I should be encouraged to must marry early!) but here I am 19 years after still single like letter I but mumsy reminds me whenever she has the opportunity (lol).
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My first day in secondary school, I cried all day as I was a big baby ( and that was the trend thru out my first term). My classmate felt I was very old as they were still in their pants whereas your truly was a bra wearing J.S.S 1 student ….. funny oo . How many people will I tell that I was just going to be 10 years old? I was the last student on my class roll during the assembly cos I was bigggggggggg. The thought of this embarrassment almost made me to stop school oo (that was deinately a pretty joke because of Mumsy
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The first time I bought some set of pants for my self was awesome and unforgettable. You see my mum used to buy pants for me o and she buys boxers (lol!) You know those kinds of pants that start from the stomach and ends around your thighs….lol. She says a lady's pants must cover all. So the first time I bought one for my self ...........hmmmmm,it was a g-string/thong (laughs!) in defiance to my mum. The first time I wore it I was looking all around me because I felt naked thot every one saw my butts (after wearing boxer for almost 20years…what else would you expect?) I just wish you can see the look on my mother’s face anytime she sees me wears those gees (lol) ..but as 2face sang; ’ as you see me so I NO SEND U ooo’ any more. Laughs!
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The first time I made ‘Amala’….. I still have the scars on my leg . Men it was horrible I poured the whole mixture on my legs while trying to turn it .Funny now when I think of it but aint funny then because I cried so much.
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The first time I was robbed (will definitely be the last time in Jesus name, even the thot alone makes me shudder!). The gang leader asked me for my bag and my gullible self tried to look up at him to explain that another fella had it. Mennnnnn the guy landed me a slap between my right eye and cheekbone (I guess the guy wore a ring or somin) because ordinary slap shouldn’t be as destructive as that (lol). I saw the popular stars that we see in cartoons and I couldn’ t see with the eye for a week. I mean if ordinary light rays reflects near the eye, head ache will start immediately. It was a terrible experience.
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The first time I boarded a plane? It was terrifying, just 45mins but my eardrum was practically blocked for the whole journey. But I survived and I am used to it now.Train nko? Spent three days from Ibadan to Abeokuta (a 45mins trip on a normal day). I had fun sha but the memory was a bit blurred as I was rather small.
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The first time on a pedestrian bridge, I was just reciting our Lord’s prayers till I crossed over. Still scared of the stuff till now. My style is to stare ahead and not look down before I go summersault inside express road.
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The first time grandmother red refused to show face….. my mama hala no be small. Na me carry my mouth go tell say I no see my visitor ooo .I knew say I no get belle as I had heeded her advice to run away from boys. She ranted and screamed murder, fire and brimstone then concluded that we were going to see the doctor the following day. I think the shout forced grandma to show face that same day ooo (im dey too fear my mama abi…lol!)
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My first day at work, I woke up by 3am after a sleepless nite, sha managed to roll on the bed till 6am then I wore my clothes ( over dressed oo) and resumed to the office only to see people whispering about me. It was later that I was told that I dressed like an undergraduate having been selecting and re-selecting the clothes 2 weeks before resumption.
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The first time I went to a nite party was hilarious. I went with my gurls and we came back to the hostel around 3am and we had to ‘scale’ the fence. Everyone climbed without an itch but na yours truly scatter everything. As I tried to jump through, my skirt caught the iron whatever on the fence and my hand slipped. Next thing na gbosa I hear for ground , I screamed and my hostel matron heard the noise. I had to manage to climb thru fast before she catches me as she would have reported me to my mum (them be close paddy). The following day she called a meeting and started sparking face, blah blah blah and that why can’t any of the girls be like me( can you imagine!) who is a quiet girl and always avoiding trouble. If looks could kill I wouldn’t have been alive today as those girls were just eyeing me.
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The first time I kissed……I opened my mouth wide as if i was the predator trying to eat up my prey. But I am much better now (definitely at my age and size now ….lol). Abi you want proof?
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My first crush…. The boy was feeling me too (or so I thot) but we were too young to do any thing about it. He is just too fine( I mean after so many years I now heard he has 4 kids by 4 different women who are all older than him ……I no lie oo) I always walk tall and proud that the most handsome boy in school could feel me. Do you know we never dated? It is now that I realized that maybe all he felt for me was pity for falling for him …………..lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta run.

Enjoy!