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Sunday, October 21, 2007

Fantasies!

Hello peeps

I have been trying to write somin down since last week but mennnnn,the traffic at work has been crazy. Its like my enemies want to gather together and remove me from blogville but Holy Ghost will not allow them. Can I hear an Amen?... lol! I mean, it's so bad that once I get home like 11pm (I am not doing shift its Nigerian factor sha , when my working hours should have been 9-5;) I rush to bed as if I am trying to keep an appointment and I can hardly open the PC to drop a message here, there or stalk my favorites bloggers!

Lawd have mercy!

Shakira is almost the most popular person on earth now o, went to the market on Saturday morning and I saw 5 kids all wearing pants and guess what they were doing ? Singing 'hips don't lie' Oh my God! Come and hear me-rix because it is definitely not re-mixed. Ti Shakira ba gbo orin yen men, she will be confused! You need to listen to the me-rix o, it was bloody…lol!

Before I deviate from today's main gist, My niece and nephew made me watch Barney and Friends the other day and somin struck a cord. You see It is compulsory for their favorite aunty to watch all those cartoons with them ; Power Puff Girls, ed, edd and eddie, Samorai Jack, Balamory , Code Name; Kids Next Door,etc all those scruffy looking characters o.Come to think of it ,where is Voltron Force fine boy? Where is fluffy Superted? Or better still breath taking Aladdin abi na Tarzan in the jungle- the hunk? Infact, I can say I watch cartoon more than I see normal movies, courtesy of my people.

Sha there was this song Barney sang and it goes like this;

'What I wanna be? ………When I grow up to be Big ME'

The song took me down memory lane of what I wanted to be and I discovered that what I am today is entirely different from what I had in mind.

Let me start from the very beginning…………………………

Yours truly started reading Mills & Boons so early in life. My elder sister use to read it as if her life depends on it. So whenever she comes home, I steal the book and read in the toilet for fear of being caught in the act. Then I fantasize that I will be like one of the heroine when I grow up. That I will just meet a guy who will 'drive' up to me and tell me I have the most beautiful blue dreamy eyes , fall in love and live happily ever after. I wonder why all that never happened. i mean, if a car packs beside me now, the first thought that comes to my head is "this is a ritual killer, dem wan use me do otumokpo(jazz)! Lol .I dreamt all day that I will publish my story too of how my knight in shinny armor rescued me from a trouble then carried me away to the 7 th heaven where there is no mention of work, traffic, stress children etc. but here I am and all those M & B stuff has never happened to me!

Why oh Why oohhhhh Why? Lol!

I grew up in a G.R.A where the motto is every man to his tent. But there is woman that trips me in our neighborhood. She used to drive a black Peugeot 504 then and she smokes. I mean I just get excited whenever she drives through my street with cigarette in her mouth and I made up my mind to be like her. I mean drive a black Peugeot 504 and smoke too so that people can feel my effect on my street. I tried the smoking once sha but no be with real cigar o I used mat and nylon! I still have a scar on my leg as the nylon melted and dripped on my leg and I never tried it again!...lol ! But how will you feel if I come to your house in a Peugeot 504 in this day and age? I am sure you will give me the boots. Who wants to befriend an old school?

I had planned also that when I grow up I will date a Capo in school…lol! Don't know where the thoughts came from sha! Weird se? Not just a cult boy o but the leader of the cult group… the capo de tuti himself! I wanted people to fear and respect me. Mere mentioning of yours truly's name should send shivers down people's spine. What the heck was I thinking? Lol .I am sure it was too much M & Bs and James Hadley Chase books o but here I am, never knew a Capo not to talk of dating one.

The only way I could have achieved the feat above was to be a cult member myself. I wanted to be the head of the female cult group so that I can date the leader of the male cult group and we will both form the formidable team? I don kolo for real o...lol! Lady Yours truly, and every one will run for cover in fear when I am around ….. Here I am totally in a different direction from my absurd dream!

Saw this video over the weekend and i need to share with you. You know that not everyone that walks on the street is normal so when you are wearing those tank tops and minis, Remember this lunatic!

Enjoy!



NVL-PG required! lol





video

34 comments:

rethots said...

Your truly, haba. That video's actually a video & defintely not real.
You missed out Danger Mouse, Captain Caveman....
"What i wanna be?" Maybe, that's why we should whisper to our friends our dreams, so, peradventure we stray (or forget) they would remind us.

cally-waffybabe said...

ROTFLMFAO big time!!! Girl, this is soooo hilarious that i've forgotten what it was i had to comment about your post. LOL. Please email me the URL for this particualar video so i can watch it from their site. LOL.

About all the kiddies programmes you mentioned, Barney, Balamory et al, i feel ya big time babe. In my house, you dare not touch the remote control when these programmes are airing, else you'd get da tantrums of da century and trust me, it ain't worth da migraine! LOL.

I used to think smoking was also cool back in dem days but now, ewwwww...i guess that's what maturity does to you, or should i say fear of cancer???

Also, in case you've been trying to access my blog, just to inform you that i've shut it down. If you haven't already heard the reason why, long story...

Hugs
xxx

acainto said...

LOL!!! Girl, you are outrageous!!! Smoking nylon??? Dating a capo??? What else have you been up to??? Try and stay safe!!!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

You this babe, your stories are hillarious!!!

Funny you should mention Barney, my daughter loves the show. As for me, I loved Voltron and all those cartoons they showed on NTA Channel 5. From my video, to my radio... was the jingle for one of my favorite cartoons. Gosh, I can't remember half the cartoons I grew up with. Oh well, make I go sleep!

30+ said...

LMAO, YOU ARE SO SILLY, I HAVE NOT EVEN FINISHED READING
"RITUAL KILLING"

OH MY DAYZ I GOT TEARS IN MY EYES GURL

ORI MI O, OH DEAR, OH DEAR

LEMME GO AND FINISH READIN LOL

30+ said...

If you hear that they have sacked me it is you o ROTFLMAO.

O my days which one should i even comment on CAPO ko DON ni. Vivid imagination you have there.

The mention of Superted brought warm feelings.

Video is just crazy

In you are tew much

bimbylads said...

lol..I cant laff jare.. M &B too used to give me thr trips until i realised that it was nonsense fairy tale. hiss...

cant watch d findeo as im at work...will do so later

darkelcee said...

@rethot.... i think it was ok i did not whisper my dreams to anyone! cos na absurd dreams. thanks for this.
@-CWB.... Thanks dear i appreciate the comment.

@acainto: i had to start somewhere and remember that practice makes perfection so a lady gotta do what she gotta do...lol!

@solomonsydelle: thanks sis! Superted was my best cartoon. never knew animation could go places now .

@30+... i am sure if i be capo's best gurl now u no go dey holla me cos of fear.lol! i must be very naughty when i was younger oo kai!

Kolo gurl i am se?

enjoy!

Allied said...

You are too funny.. OMG.. Capo girl? and u guys will form a team abi?

Thank God all those dreams did not materialize.

darkelcee said...

@bimby...the ""findeo" no too bad oo. just Hilarious

@allied: Capo team! Coolllllll
Thank God but sometimes i wonder otherwise, cos i tutu (gentle) too much now.
Lol

Thanks

Anonymous said...

hi gurl darkelcee,

i love your blog so so so much

u are great gurl

pamelastitch said...

m and b rocks !!! :D


I made friends with enemies just to read their own jare!!


Do knights in shinning armors really exist??

The Last King Of Scotland said...

too funny

Tinuke said...

My sister, I think mills and boons are a rite of passage for every young girl...

I remember momsi catching me reading one and goin ballistic.

But as to your Bonnie and Clyde fantasy, you are on your own there oh! lol

darkelcee said...

@ thanks to all i appreciate this.

Obinwanne said...

1st time here....really have a nice blog..... funny indeed

darkelcee said...

Obinwanne.... e se pupo ( thanks a bunch!)

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

update

bighead said...

M&B??? I'm gagging here. Didn't you see Robert Ludlum?

Why do small children like in Barney? Thank God I'm no longer a child.

darkelcee said...

@Solomonsydelle... i am trying to try update men but na stress. how are the kids?

@Bighead...Robert lud what?

his english was too much for me (lol) i mean i couldn't understand his style of writing. I attempted it once and it was like i was reading a pyschotic book ...arrghhhh.

thanks for the holla.

princesa said...

Hilarious!!!

You are really something else babe! See all the stuff you wanted to be!! Thank God none of them came to pass o!

darkelcee said...

abi, God's ways are not our ways neither are His thots. if all that had happened i would probably have been very razz....lol!

thanks for dropping by.

anonymous gal said...

LOL.crazy lunatic. please o let not your enemies take u from bloggin

da said...

@anonymous Gal.... Amen Amen and Amen.let them gather together and swallow themselves for more strength, My God will not allow them. thanks for the Prayers.

darkelcee said...

that was me , see devil? Holy Ghost fire! Darkelcee must show by fire by force!

Obinwanne said...

its my b'day today as i mentioned in my previous post, and my exams have started and its going smoothly and im happy for ur prayers.... ayway i just pumped im to demand a visit to my blog cos i deserve it, IT MY B'DAY IMAGINE.....SO I DESERVE IT 100%......lol....thanks for stopping by anyway...

Allied said...

Ok... UPDATE now

Obinwanne said...

abeg abeg update!!!!!!!!!!!!pls dont forget to check back at my blog...have updated with pics of the b'day...thanks for the good wishes and stopping by....

NIGERIA POLITRICKS said...

the video is creepy and mad hillarious as well. lawl!

diary of a G said...

capo status ain't easy to get
lol

darkelcee said...

@obinwanne & Allied... i /have updated
@D.O.G .... hmmmmm tell me something? abi you can help me?i can chnage my mind sharpish.

Enjoy!

Afrobabe said...

I still watch brainiac...try as I might can't get cartoons outta my mind...love em especially the classics..
I actually dated a cult boy in school and almost got rusticated along with him..trust me..all that glitters is not gold...had fun sha..plus I graduated...talk about having the best of both worlds.

unshined congo said...

this video is hilarious. i know its real cos i heard bout it sometime ago. now i cant even remember ur post again cos im laughing so hard.

darkelcee said...

@afrobabe...lol @ you for watching brain manic. i still watch cartoons too. went for a team bonding session at work last weekend and guessed what i named my team?...Pinkie and the Brain!

@unshined Congo.. very funny

thanks for the holla!