Fantasies!

Hello peeps

I have been trying to write somin down since last week but mennnnn,the traffic at work has been crazy. Its like my enemies want to gather together and remove me from blogville but Holy Ghost will not allow them. Can I hear an Amen?... lol! I mean, it's so bad that once I get home like 11pm (I am not doing shift its Nigerian factor sha , when my working hours should have been 9-5;) I rush to bed as if I am trying to keep an appointment and I can hardly open the PC to drop a message here, there or stalk my favorites bloggers!

Lawd have mercy!

Shakira is almost the most popular person on earth now o, went to the market on Saturday morning and I saw 5 kids all wearing pants and guess what they were doing ? Singing 'hips don't lie' Oh my God! Come and hear me-rix because it is definitely not re-mixed. Ti Shakira ba gbo orin yen men, she will be confused! You need to listen to the me-rix o, it was bloody…lol!

Before I deviate from today's main gist, My niece and nephew made me watch Barney and Friends the other day and somin struck a cord. You see It is compulsory for their favorite aunty to watch all those cartoons with them ; Power Puff Girls, ed, edd and eddie, Samorai Jack, Balamory , Code Name; Kids Next Door,etc all those scruffy looking characters o.Come to think of it ,where is Voltron Force fine boy? Where is fluffy Superted? Or better still breath taking Aladdin abi na Tarzan in the jungle- the hunk? Infact, I can say I watch cartoon more than I see normal movies, courtesy of my people.

Sha there was this song Barney sang and it goes like this;

'What I wanna be? ………When I grow up to be Big ME'

The song took me down memory lane of what I wanted to be and I discovered that what I am today is entirely different from what I had in mind.

Let me start from the very beginning…………………………

Yours truly started reading Mills & Boons so early in life. My elder sister use to read it as if her life depends on it. So whenever she comes home, I steal the book and read in the toilet for fear of being caught in the act. Then I fantasize that I will be like one of the heroine when I grow up. That I will just meet a guy who will 'drive' up to me and tell me I have the most beautiful blue dreamy eyes , fall in love and live happily ever after. I wonder why all that never happened. i mean, if a car packs beside me now, the first thought that comes to my head is "this is a ritual killer, dem wan use me do otumokpo(jazz)! Lol .I dreamt all day that I will publish my story too of how my knight in shinny armor rescued me from a trouble then carried me away to the 7 th heaven where there is no mention of work, traffic, stress children etc. but here I am and all those M & B stuff has never happened to me!

Why oh Why oohhhhh Why? Lol!

I grew up in a G.R.A where the motto is every man to his tent. But there is woman that trips me in our neighborhood. She used to drive a black Peugeot 504 then and she smokes. I mean I just get excited whenever she drives through my street with cigarette in her mouth and I made up my mind to be like her. I mean drive a black Peugeot 504 and smoke too so that people can feel my effect on my street. I tried the smoking once sha but no be with real cigar o I used mat and nylon! I still have a scar on my leg as the nylon melted and dripped on my leg and I never tried it again!...lol ! But how will you feel if I come to your house in a Peugeot 504 in this day and age? I am sure you will give me the boots. Who wants to befriend an old school?

I had planned also that when I grow up I will date a Capo in school…lol! Don't know where the thoughts came from sha! Weird se? Not just a cult boy o but the leader of the cult group… the capo de tuti himself! I wanted people to fear and respect me. Mere mentioning of yours truly's name should send shivers down people's spine. What the heck was I thinking? Lol .I am sure it was too much M & Bs and James Hadley Chase books o but here I am, never knew a Capo not to talk of dating one.

The only way I could have achieved the feat above was to be a cult member myself. I wanted to be the head of the female cult group so that I can date the leader of the male cult group and we will both form the formidable team? I don kolo for real o...lol! Lady Yours truly, and every one will run for cover in fear when I am around ….. Here I am totally in a different direction from my absurd dream!

Saw this video over the weekend and i need to share with you. You know that not everyone that walks on the street is normal so when you are wearing those tank tops and minis, Remember this lunatic!

Enjoy!

NVL-PG required! lol