Mumsy!

Suuuuupppppppppppppppp?

I’m ok and feeling cool with myself. This time of the month is my best moments because everybody for don finish their money (especially salary people) and so customers come into my office in trickles. I always pray and hope for these rare moment where banking halls can be turned to football pitch without any lele. (If my management hear or see this ‘peeren’, a new person don join job-seekers association be that …..Lol)

I don’t know how I remembered this gist but I think it was because my Mum called me this morning to say hi and pray her normal long prayers for me.( marriage, good family and children….lol!)

Mummy yours truly is a wonderful woman very nice and a mother every one can wish for and she is a cheerful giver despite been an Ijebu Woman. She gives her all. If we organize gigs in our house, my Mum will make sure every one eat and also pack the food for them as take away, both cooked and raw foods ooo but……… ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Mumsy buru baje (my mum is a disciplinarian.......Lol!) She should have been a MOPOL or rather maybe she was one in her first life. The fear of my Mum is the beginning of wisdom. While my Dad was very soft and gentle my Mum is very strict and firm.

I think my Mum has a black belt in taekwando (is the spelling correct?) and she did not let us know or somin. If you offend my Mum small, ahhhhhhhhhh! come and see action (Jet-li self no demo reach Mummy yours truly) she will throw what ever she is wearing on her feet, wedge, platform or cloggs and catch it mid air and the next thing is that you a hear “konnnnnn” sound (echo) on your head and you start seeing stars ******** . God will help you and you scream, series of punishment will follow immediately , stoop down ( don’t even know how to pronounce or spell it self either way it is not an easy punishment sha) , sitting in comfort ( your back against the wall, and your two hands stretched in front of you and your knees bent…. Crazy!) Or frog jump. My mum is creative when it comes to punishments.

I have plenty gist about her while growing up. Being the last born in the family gave me some rights and privileges but I was still not spared by my Mum. Can you imagine that all the house help we had while growing up never washed our (me and my egbons) plates as a matter of house rule? My Mum’s slogan is that she is not breeding lazy children. I used to wonder why we employ house helps that don’t do house chores (now i know why the least person spent 6 years with us… who no like better thing? Alikas). My Mum can communicate with you with her eyes all day without uttering a single word. Ahhhhhh, mummy yours truly is as good as that. If you go out and she doesn’t want you to eat she will roll her eyes up and down the message is sent and well decoded by her kids (No eating, no matter what ….lol!) If you feel your head is well positioned on your neck go and eat the food …. You will not forget the outcome in a hurry. When I remember my Mum and her commands, Captain Von Trapp (Sounds of Music) comes to mind.

I remember one particular incident; I think I didn’t feel like going to school that day as I had been throwing tantrums all morning and Mum shouted at me to get inside the car as she was ready to go . Yours truly now transferred the aggression to my immediate senior brother. I started complaining that I wanted to seat by the door (In a car with four doors ooo…..omo na mental case.lol) and my brother had actually sat there, sha a fight ensued (I no sabi fight at all) and I got a good trashing ,so I started screaming and crying in the car (yeepaaaaaaa, mistake of a life time!) My Mum did not utter a single word in all these oo. She just did as if the noise was not coming from her car.

After driving for like 15mins, she just packed and roared that we should both come down from her car ( just like that without lele!) We scrambled out like rabbits and she sped off, I mean zoomed off, I couldn’t believe it. My brother had some money on him and so he called the next available cab and went to school. I stood there thinking my Mum will turn back or reverse or somin but she never came back. By that time, I understood what been stranded is all about and I knew I was in deep sh*t with no money on me(I don't know how to save and my motto is always “today I see” especially on money matters.) I had only an option slap it to school or back home. I had to take the latter as my school was a rather long distance from my house ( no be small thing). I started the Journey of the Magi back home and all sort of ideas were going through my head but the most fearful and dreadful of them was; what will happen when I see my mum in the evening after school?( that alone sent Holy shivers down my spine….lol) Fast forward, got home did a play reconstruction for my Pop and he took me to school ( got to school that day around 10am) I expressed my fears about Mumsy to Dad and I think he spoke with her as she did not say a single word about the whole issue till today and on my part fear dey catch me to talk am self. The good side is that I have never again engaged in any physical fight since then because my brain no gree erase the info. I call it mumsy shock.

But my mumsy is getting old now and when her Grand children frolic round her I wonder how she can relax and play with them. I mean when you have a visitor in my house every other person must disappear except the person receiving the visitor. She says it is lack of courtesy to gist with your egbons friends. You know as a child, you can have crush or even likeness for your family friends but you dare not sit with them and laugh because if mumsy catches you, O.Y.O(on your own)

The worst you can do to my mum is when she now allows you to relax with her friend ( on special days o) and they are gisting and you feel you have an idea in your head to contribute, Mummy yours truly is online real time because as the idea is coming out of you mouth heavy knock is hitting your head or mouth or wherever is closer to her and other punishment resumes when both of you are alone.

I feel all these really contributed in shaping my life and has made me a well brought up lady with good manners and someone who understands sign language (lol….. we no get deaf and dumb for my family but we can all decode signs and signals). And I appreciate my mum for those constant, consistent and unrelenting efforts to make us cool kids. lol!

The funny part is that I am a replica of my mum in almost everyway but I dread the Captain Von Trapp part ..........lol!I pray I don’t take after her in that aspect.

But i no fit know that until I start having kids?

Hmmmmmmmm…….. Food for thought.