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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Help a Sister

hmmmmmm i need help oooo

Serious one infact this post is with high priority!

I need lectures on how to be more romantic. (Did I hear u laugh?) This is not a joke ooo. It’s a matter of life and death.

I think I am too stiff; I don't relax and don't bloody know how to have fun.

I need to know how to organize a romantic dinner for two under the candle light (without fear of hot wax dripping on my head and making me bald.) You know all those dinner stuff with candles everywhere as if person wan do breakthrough prayers for cele church?

I need to know how to stroll on the beach with my boo without the fear of Atlantic Ocean sweeping me away (I can't even float not to talk of swim). I need to know how to be in a boat ride without squeezing my face in terror because of all evil thots of drowning going thru my head and whispering the psalm 91.

I need to know how to seat on an astro wheel and clinging to my boo instead of holding on to the railings (as if my life depends on it) with a high pitch scream filled with fear.

I need to know how to sing love song and dance all night like they do in Indian films (remember Dharmendra ) or my Igbo brothers in Home muvee.

I need to know if i should send flowers or chocolate (abi na cigar?) to him? i am a big joker right? laughs!

I need to know how to look into my boo’s eyes all day whispering sweet nothing without blinking or thinking in my heart what the f**k am I doing here, checking my wrist watch to confirm how many minutes we’ve spent idle or wondering if my baby will think I am doing drugs as my eye color signifies that.

I need to know how to organize surprise dinner (breakfast and lunch is out of the question except i wan loose my job!) for my baby without checking my account balance or using my mental calculator to have an idea of how much I am left with by EOM (End of Month).

I need to know how to order gifts for my baby on a normal day even when it is not Christmas, his birthday, our anniversary or Easter.( i am a mixed breed and ijebu blood seem the most prominent.....haha haha)

I need to know how to end every telephone conversation with ‘I love you baby’, ‘Miss you so much’ etc and every chat with kiss, love and hug emoticons without thinking if if i a bug don chop yours truly or somin.

I need to know how to go to muvee with my baby without trying to stifle a yawn or two after a hard day’s work and also look cheerful without a puffy eye or tiredness well spelt out on my face.

I need to know how to use words like , baby, sweet,honey, sweetheart,sugar,soda or cookies (lol) etc instead of calling him his full name with his surname togther. (all his 3 names comes to mind when i am fuming.)

I need so many other love tips

Who will help me?

15 comments:

Unbiased said...

You have almost all the love tips. Just use what you got and trust me it will take you to the finish line. lol!!!! Practise is all i can say. The more you practise these acts, the more natural they will come to you.

darkelcee said...

thanks so much ooo i appreciate it. But the time my practice will turn to perfection is what i don't have. but guess i must start from somewhere abi?

bimbylads said...

cant hewlp u here.. im BAAAAAAAAAD and unromantic.. infact, when my hubby gets mushy, I laugh!! pele.. when u do get tips, holla @ a sister..

darkelcee said...

@bimby ....lol

acainto said...

So funny, and yet true for more of us girls than you think! You should probably ask your guy what he wants, and do what you both feel comfortable with, instead of trying to meet up to some fake Holly/Nolly/Bollywood standards. Your guy should love you for who you really are, and should just love being around you, whether or not there's candle wax dripping all over the place.

darkelcee said...

Very true sis. Very true. Thanks a bunch

wemi said...

I believe the best thing to do is to take time to think to yourself, why am i unromantic???? when you are able to think of ideas as to why, then the best thing to do is to consciously be aware. when a man is being romantic to you and you don't know what to do, i think you should tell him and you can both learn how to love and teach each other how to be romantic and how to love. This is the best wa to grow together and be romantic, start off small and eventually work your way up, start off with maybe going out for dinner, come home and watch a movie together, then talk about it together.
idea #2: Teach each other how to do something new
Idea #3: Play music that speaks about how you feel if you can't sa it yourself...good artists are - Boys II Men, Dru Hill, New Edition, R.Kelly, India Arie etc....

I'll update on more but thats my best idea for now

Anonymous said...

hmmm can't teach you here. you need to come for a 3 months tutorial.innit

darkelcee said...

@wemi...thanks so much sis i apprecate. i love the idea #2 . it is very ok
@anonymous: hmmmm my Bf is a policeman ooo. You had berra not let him catch you...lol! thanks a bunch

30+ said...

Don't know how to do mushy o

darkelcee said...

@30+... welcome to the 'mushyless' club. Next meeting is at my place... holla for the addy. thanks sis.

princesa said...

Am a romantic at heart but cant express it! maybe am scared of appearing 'in Love'.

I need the tips pass u my dear.

darkelcee said...

Ko si ofe ni eko( there is no freebie in lagos)

so holla with cash for tips (lol)

thanks for stopping by dear

bighead said...

Fashi all the nonsense movies (and M&B) have defined as romantic. Be yourself. Say how you feel the way you do. A sensible guy will prefer that to forming (I'm a sensible guy; I hope your boo is too. If he's not, berra start forming quick-quick).

darkelcee said...

@bighead....lol! he is definately and i am just myself....local to the core but not razz.lol

thanks