1ST POST IN 2009.

hey peeps, how are you all doing?

Happy new year, even if it is coming in February abeg accept am like that. kiss kiss

My New Year motto has been this song done by David Cook (American Idol 7)

And I’ll taste every moment And live it out loud

I know this is the time, This is the time

To be more than a name Or a face in the crowd

I know this is the time

This is the time of my life Time of my life


We thank the Almighty father, the joy & strength Giver for HIS Grace over our lives.

He has counted us to be among the living. So I give him praise.

How are you all doing? Please drive safely and if that trip is not important, cancel it sharppish.

Just thought about sharing with you guys the things I never had and the things I have not done in all my years on earth. Relax with your bowl of groundnut plus fanta, enjoy.

- I never got a Christmas dress.... I don't know which planet my parents were from but I guess it must be Uranus because Christmas dress is not in their dictionary. While our neighbors wore their dresses around we just wear the old "fine" dress we had and I was down with it then and even till now I still don’t get or buy a Christmas dress.

-Still talking of Christmas, I never spent Christmas outside my home..............( I am not an ibo person sha.lol) except 2007 year, I didn’t go because I knew my mum will hound me on husband and marriage issue. So I decided to chill in Lagos. This year, I went home confidently (*wink*)

-I never had a younger one (i am a confirmed and certified last born)...... Sometimes I am happy about that but at times I wish I have just one. Someone to gist with you know and I want to pull my weight around and boss someone. Mumsy is old and my dad is late so there is no question of I might get one soon.
-I never had a pet........ All the dogs we had in my family while growing up were owned by my brothers.

-I have never used tampons before...... eeeeeewwwww! How will I insert it? Somebody please help this razzooo.


-I have never had friends exactly my age mate...... they are either older than me or younger than me. wetin dey happen? Is it that I sometimes act above or below my age? lol

-I have never done beyond 10mins in the bathroom. My motto…. Even Naman the leper didn’t spend so much time washing up his leprosy so why should I? The 10mins is enough to scrub off yesterday’s dirts now abi? And my body width and length ain’t that big too. Bathroom activity is strictly brushing and proper shower.

-I never went to a boarding school… Thank God my parents didn’t risk it, because if they had I might not be on talking terms with them now. Was doing Monday to Friday while I was in Polytechnic and I went from home while in University.

-I never had an Uncle….My Maternal Grandma had all girls and My Paternal Grandma had only a son (my Dad). So if you hear me mention an uncle, na lie oh prolly an Aristo. Lol.
-I have never fought before. I mean physical combat thingy. Did one with my brother and it was the first and last time I did.

Biko my people, I have a kolo boss with plenty scion-scoin. I need your prayers and help on how to deal with him. Example; he asked me to schedule a meeting for him ( I no be secretary oh) I sent the mail and called up the parties involved and behold Mr. scion scion come waka comot! I had to face those people myself, speak plenty English to beg and explain that a car killed his great-great grand parents and he had to leave the office. Advice me please


Finally my people……………………………………………….I am getting married!( gist for another post, i promise to give you the low down) But dilemma dey small. Hubby is from Ekiti State where they eat pounded yam as their Three Square meal. I don’t know how to pound nada and he said Ola- Ola is out of it, so I am looking for how to introduce him to this! (Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)


Missed you guys plenty!

In my head

My peeps
This is to confirm that I keep my promise. Wassssuuuuppppp?

I want to give a shout out to everyone that left a comment on my post. You are the reason I am on blogville. I love you all and I will reply every comment soon.(I am feeling like a Gee se?). I am being lazy and the only time I have to reply all comment is in the nite (at home) and this feat is like trying to go to heaven…….dial-up connection in naija is anti-reply-a-comment. (Am I the only one in this? Both CELTEL & STARCOMMS)

As this post title signifies, these are just thoughts running through my head in the last one week so help examine my head.


I didn’t take Coca Cola on a particular Friday and by Saturday afternoon I felt like an addict suffering a relapse. Abeg Coca cola wan kill me? Had to run all over to get a chilled bottle and I felt better.Haaaa my own don better abi? Carl don get sister for Coke drinking spree.
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My peeps at home tried to persuade me to go out with them and the following conversation ensued;

Bro-in-law: Darkelcee, lets go out now because you can’t find husband with this your lifestyle. Your life revolves round Home, Office and Church. You need to go out often to hook up someone? (Please where exactly is this OUT?)

My 6yr Old Nephew: yesssssss now, she has been staying with us since. Mummy says before I was born? When will you go to your house?

See me see wahala, dem dey plan coup-de-tat for me in that house now.
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Please, how do oyinbo people think? I noticed that you can actually report a photo on facebook to the authorities! Reasons to report photo Include….nudity/pornography, Drug Use, violence, attacks individual or group. Please the question is wetin concern me to report another person’s picture?(Na jazz dem use carry me go look im profile?) I fit report my own? Who dey check the reports?
If we get our own facebook for naija, hmmmm gongo aso!. The guy in the console to monitor reports will never be at work.Infact, PHCN no go give them light to access reports at all. Fuel scarcity will back up PHCN strongly. And the site will be epileptic that you won’t be able to report anything! All hail NIGERIA!
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In the March Edition of Genevieve magazine, i read of a 23yr old naija chic who did breast enlargement / implant for a bloody sum of 4,000 British Pounds! (I dey craze?) I can’t even imagine getting one abi na buy we go call am? (Don’t need to anyway *wink*).

Please, take time out to watch Dr 92010 for a sneak into the getting one. The surgery can be compared with the process of making Asun (barbecued goat).

Heard you can use saline or silicone gel in the stuffing or filling? lollllll

Type 1
A portion of the boobs is opened up and somin that looks like Drip bag (Dextrose Saline) or Pure water bag is “tucked” into the breast and a balloon pump is inserted into the bag and then the pumping start. Air or whatever is pumped into the bag till the desired size is achieved. The “victim” is sown up and she wakes up with a bigger boobs.



Type 2
The “drip-bag” is already filled with the saline/silicone gel they forcefully tucked into the boobs. Pumping is not necessary.

Now the question is can this bag leak? Yes it can!


What if somin happens and it burst? Oh yes it does! You will only need to go for a “refill”.

Or the saline solution start to dry? Abeg, allow me to think like a novice here!

All these James bond moves is for what?

Note that this is not a bloodless surgery. !@#$%^&*_+


The recovery period varies from person to person. After the surgery, the doctor is going to put bandages around the breasts to prevent swelling. The bandages are worn for several days. After they are removed, you will need to use a surgical bra. This bra is designed to prevent excessive pressure and give enough support to your new breasts.For the first few days, the patient experiences pain and swelling.(suffering and smilling!)


The doctor will give you medication for pain.(please doctors should stop giving anything, sebi it is no pains no gain...Chikena!) The discomfort will gradually reduce within 10 days. Some swelling will still remain. The scars will look pink and larger in the beginning, but they will fade as time passes. It may take a couple of months to get back to your fitness routine, but depending on your type of work, within a few days you can return to work. Every case is different, so your doctor will tell you what is right for you……READ MORE

But really how many minutes do we have in naija before we start doing Whacko Jackco moves and our teeth, nose or tongue start falling off?

On a lighter mood!

BRA CODES

Enjoy your weekend